Divorce or separation can be one of the most difficult experiences to go through in life. Staying sane during this period can be a challenge.
Educate Yourself! It is important to educate yourself on the divorce process. Feeling overwhelmed can occur when we don’t understand what is going to happen next. Ask your attorney for a breakdown of the process and exactly what you should expect during the divorce proceedings. Knowing what is about to happen or the possibilities of what can occur can help calm one's nerves so you don’t feel blindsided.
Keep Busy & Stay Goal Oriented! It’s important to keep busy, stay organized and set realistic goals. Our mind can race with an array of emotions when we experience trauma. It can be easy to spiral into depression or engage in high-risk behaviors to distract ourselves from the pain we are experiencing. It can happen to anyone so please remember no one is an exception when it comes to dealing with trauma. Keep your mind occupied and distracted in a healthy way such as taking on new projects at home or work or starting a new hobby. It is essential to keep yourself busy, productive and focused on your future goals now. Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to get a promotion at work? Should you build your business or start a new business? Have you tried to make a vision board for yourself? It may seem like a tacky or even silly idea, but the reality is you are now walking into a new chapter of your life. It is the perfect time to create a vision board and create new visions for your life now. Make a list of long and short term goals for the next five years. This is your fresh start! Mental Health Check! Prioritize your mental health. How are you managing your emotions? Have you found a good therapist or counselor? Remember to permit yourself to grieve! Grieving the loss of someone important in your life is never easy and it is never immediate; you will heal eventually with time and patience. Physical Health Check!
Physical fitness may seem tiresome to people who don’t have the time or energy to ‘workout’ but just simply taking a walk around the neighborhood will help release some of the negative or stressful emotions you may be experiencing during this time. Hot yoga classes are also very therapeutic for men and women. Both yoga and meditation can help reduce symptoms from depression.
Remember This Period is Temporary!
Understand and realize that this time is only temporary. It may feel unbearable right now but everything will pass… You will get through this difficult time. You are not alone! Try joining support groups or church (or other religious) or other community activities. It is important to surround yourself with healthy, positive and encouraging people!
Feeling Disconnected is Normal!
Additionally, do not feel bad if you feel somewhat disconnected from your children. This can be quite common. Especially if you are struggling to cope with the emotional devastation of the broken marriage. Your children may not always know or understand what’s going on but your children will always love you throughout the ups and downs of life. This is a stressful and overwhelming time for you, remember to cope and heal at your own pace. Remember you are doing your best under extenuating circumstances. Stay strong in front of your children; remember that this too shall pass!
Live Life!
Don’t post your personal divorce experiences all over social media! It’s human nature to remember bad things about people and downplay good things. Don’t make this your defining moment. This is a new chapter for you, an opportunity for a new beginning. Go out with your girlfriends or guy friends and create new experiences. Create fun activities to do with your children when you have quality time together. Do things that make you happy. Create positive environments. It may be difficult to try to do the things you used to do when you were happy, but the first step is to get out of the house. Going to work and going straight home can be depressing and lonely. It is important to do activities that bring joy in your life. Take the time you need to heal and find you new beginnings. Healing is a process. Live in the moment and try to enjoy the little moments one step at a time.
For help with either of these legal matters in Chicago, call Angela Larimer at 773-370-0600.
For more information on this topic please visit these additional resources:
D. Comply (2020) How To Stay Calm During Divorce: 21 Tips, D. Comply
Web Retrieved: https://www.dcomply.com/21-crucial-tips-to-stay-sane-during-divorce/
Dr. Beau Nelson (2022) Things You Should do to Stay Sane During a Divorce, Divorce Marketing Group & Segue Esprit Inc.
Web Retrieved: https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/stay-sane-during-a-divorce
Y., Madhuri (2019) 11 Ways To Remain Sane During a Divorce, Bonobology
Web Retrieved: https://www.bonobology.com/remain-sane-divorce/