Red Flags I Ignored—And Why I’ll Never Do That Again

Family Law resolutions offer opportunities to make a fresh start and improve your life. For help with your divorce, parentage, including child support and parenting time, prenuptial or postnuptial agreements in Chicago, call Angela Larimer at 773-370-0600 or email Angela at

angela@larimerlawllc.com.

Let’s be honest: hindsight is savage.

It’s that uninvited guest who shows up after the chaos, sits across from you with a glass of wine, and whispers, “You saw it coming—you just didn’t want to believe it.”

We don’t talk enough about the red flags we ignored. Not because we’re naïve, but because we’re human. Because love makes us hopeful, loyal, and sometimes, willing to wear blinders in the name of “forever.”

Today, I want to share some of the red flags I overlooked in my past relationship—not to dwell, but to empower. If you’re reading this and feel that twist in your gut, like maybe you’ve been ignoring something too, I hope this gives you permission to start listening.

🚩 1. I Was Explaining My Worth

I constantly found myself justifying my needs. Explaining why my feelings were valid. Defending my dreams, my choices, my time.

Red flag. If you have to convince someone that you deserve to be loved well, you’re already in a relationship with the wrong person.

🚩 2. The Apologies Were Empty

Oh, the apologies came—flowers, dinners, “I didn’t mean it.” But nothing changed.

Real apologies are verbs, not just words. They look like growth. They sound like effort. They feel like peace.

🚩 3. I Lost My Spark

The vibrant, loud, creative me slowly faded. I laughed less. Second-guessed myself more. I started editing who I was just to keep the peace.

Red flag. If you feel smaller in your relationship instead of seen—that’s not love. That’s control dressed in comfort.

🚩 4. Conflict Was a War, Not a Conversation

Every disagreement turned into a battlefield. There was no listening, just defending. No compromise, just cold shoulders.

Healthy love means you can fight for each other, not against each other.

🚩 5. I Felt Alone When I Wasn’t Alone

This one hurts the most.

I was in the same room, same house, same bed—and yet I felt like I was disappearing. There’s a unique kind of heartbreak in being unseen by the person who promised to cherish you.

So Why Will I Never Ignore These Again?

Because now I understand that red flags aren’t signs you’re failing—they’re signals to wake up. To trust your gut. To save yourself before you spend years shrinking to fit into someone else’s version of “enough.”

I’ve learned that walking away isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. That peace feels different from passion. That love without respect isn’t really love at all.

And most of all, I’ve learned that I will never again trade my truth for someone else’s comfort.

If You're Seeing Red Flags...

You’re not crazy. You’re not being dramatic. You’re not asking for too much.

You’re asking for the right kind of love—and that’s incredibly brave.

And if you’re at the beginning, middle, or end of a divorce, know this: you’re not alone. We’re here to support, empower, and walk with you through whatever comes next.

Because your new chapter doesn’t begin with someone else—it begins when you choose you.

Need someone to talk to? Our team at Larimer Law LLC gets it—because we’re not just legal advocates. We’re human beings who believe in second chances and stronger endings.

Let’s chat when you’re ready.